Not So Fast Milwaukee: LaRussa’s Genius Still Revealing Itself

In what can only be described as his most brilliant regular season mind-trick ever, Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa exhibited uncanny genius by pulling Albert Pujols from the lineup, allowing his best starter to get torched by the Brewers, and inciting his beloved Yadier Molina to get himself tossed and then publicly undressed after arguing balls and strikes, while catching, during the middle of the game. In a final stroke of mastery, he then got himself ejected and permitted the Brewers to win the game. The Brewers, while celebrating the fact that they snapped their losing streak by taking three of four from the now-former division leaders, have no idea how completely and utterly manipulated they have been.

“Leadership is, among other things, the ability to inflict pain and get away with it - short-term pain for long-term gain,” said self-appointed baseball sage George Will, attempting to put the Cardinals’ Monday night “loss” into proper perspective. “LaRussa will reveal to us, only when he is ready, his reasons for conceding tonight’s contest to Milwaukee.” “This is akin to General Grant’s capture of Fort Donelson in 1861; i’s full import will not be understood by casual observers for years, if not decades,” Will added.

LaRussa permitted struggling Brewers starter Dave Bush to pitch six innings and allow only one run, permitted the struggling Brewers offense to score eight runs, and also permitted young Brewers slugger Ryan Braun to hit four home runs in the last two days, apparently because this will give rise to a strategic advantage to St. Louis at some subsequent, more important point in the season.

“The casual fan might think this was a huge, confidence boosting win for the Brewers that put them back at .500 and back in the middle of the NL Central race,” said longtime Brewers fan John Tokarz, “But those of us who have played the game know better. LaRussa just set us up for a big fall.” “Just wait, he’ll pull a double switch against Bush in the second inning late in the season, and we’ll lose like ten in a row,” he added. “We’re completely f***ed now.”